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Haruki Murakami's novel "Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage" follows the life of Tsukuru Tazaki and his relationships and bonds with people he meets in his life - the group of five close-knit friends, his parents and siblings, his girlfriends over the years, and his friend in college.

Like most of Murakami's works, this one also has on open-to-interpretation ending wherein the protagonist is set to meet the love of his life and find out whether he is loved back or not. The story ends before that meeting even takes place. What must have happened? Did Sara say she loved him back as he hoped, or did she really have another boyfriend as he suspected?

What evidence do we have to suggest what it was?

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I took away the message that even if Tsukuru had resolved his past trauma and found the answer to what led his friends to cut him off, which is not because he wasn't worth anything to them, his fears and the painful experience were still there. When he talks about how he might die for real if Sara rejects him, it's because he will go through the experience of being unwanted again. Even though the truth is that he was an essential part of the group of five friends, cutting Tsukuru off was the hardest thing they did. So, he wasn't unwanted, and maybe he isn't unimportant to Sara as well but all these years have left him assuming he will be abandoned by others. By not picking up the phone and letting himself be in the present and falling asleep I think it indicated he was prioritizing his own mental peace at that moment and letting things unfold tomorrow at their own pace. Maybe when he wakes up he is ready to handle whatever comes next, even if it is rejection. After all, he wasn't just abandoned, he wasn't colorless but cool and collected and loved.

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