In Adam Lambert's “There I Said It”, what does he actually say?

Question

The chorus of Adam Lambert's "There I Said It" goes like this:

So there, I said it
And I won't apologize to you anymore
'Cause I'm a grown ass man
And I won't live again
And I'm sick and tired of livin' in your shadow
So there, I said it
No, I won't apologize to you anymore
'Cause I'm a grown ass man
And I don't understand
Why I should be livin' in the shadows
So there, I said it

However, looking through the rest of the lyrics to the song, I can't quite figure out what the "I said it" actually refers to. He doesn't seem to come out and say something explicitly; the whole song is just about saying it, as far as I can tell.

So... what does "There , I said it" actually refer to in this song?

Answer 1

It's a song about coming out of the closet. Specifically, it's about refusing to be in a relationship with someone who is still closeted.

Lambert is openly gay and vocal about LGBTQ+ causes. The lyrics of the song say that the speaker won't settle for a relationship if the partner won't publicly acknowledge it:

It's a double-edged sword you're givin'
And I can't see the truth in livin'
When we hide behind a wall of fear.

So while keeping their relationship on the DL allows the addressee to continue to pass as heterosexual, this is "a double-edged sword" because it means living in fear. By rejecting this, the speaker refuses to accept the terms that the addressee is setting for their relationship.

What the speaker says is this:

It's a twisted dream you believe in
And what's the use in pretendin'?
Let's make the smoke and mirrors disappear.

He has told his partner that the idea of being in a relationship while still closeted is a "twisted dream", and he has issued an ultimatum: come out and we can stay together, otherwise we're done. He says he "won't apologize" for this ultimatum because he's too old to live life on somebody else's terms.

Whether this song is autobiographical or just an imagined scenario, I don't know.