There was a a humorous piece by Stephen Leacock (I remember reading it as a child from a late seventies Reader’s Digest) inanely titled either “How to kill a spider” or “How to make a board” or some such. It described how the author made a wooden board to squash small crawly creatures. Have been unsuccessfully trying to locate it for several years ... internet searches and searches in project Gutenberg and like have revealed nothing so far.

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